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Dealing with being a sysadmin

5.1)
Caffeine and other Recreational Pharmaceuticals

Caffeine:
Much information about this can be found on alt.drugs.caffeine
See their FAQ
Booze:
See rec.food.drink.*. Myself, I prefer coding after a six-pack of Samual Smiths Oatmeal Stout, but you are welcome to your beverage of choice. Booze, particularly in large quantities, often makes dealing with lusers much more interesting. Ciders have been spoken of highly; myself I stick with Woodchuck (at $3 for a 1.5Litre bottle, it can't be beaten), but there are various other choices. Unfortunately, really good cider is hard to find in many places.
We had an informal survey into the ASR booze of choice, and the only thing was resolved interms of ASR beer preference is that yes, there is indeed a lot of choice. (Oh, and that ASR readers have excellent taste)

There are lots of net resources for this. I recommend alt.drunken.bastards Try this for beer info.

For more interesting things, rec.drugs.* can help you. See this page for more info (for educational use only, I'd never, etc etc)

5.2)
The excuse server

This is an important net resource, that lets you give the exact reason why you can't do something yesterday. See http://www.engr.wisc.edu/~ballard/bofhserver.html Or telnet bofh.engr.wisc.edu 666

5.3)
The insults server

Once you have got rid of your lusers, you will probably want to tell them what they really are. For this, the insults server is useful. telnet insulthost.colorado.edu 1695

5.4)
Should I slit my wrists across or downwards?

Downward. For more information on interesting methods, see the alt.suicide.holiday faq.

5.5)
Sysadmin Tools

There are a number of tools that make being a sysadming important. Most important are chemical by nature; see 5.1. A particularly useful tool, revered by many of ASR, is the noble chocolate covered coffee bean. Since these may be hard to find, here are some places where they have been spotted:

Bradford, UK: Kirkgate shopping center, Choosys kiosk. 4 types. 100g for 2GBP.
Manchster, UK: Coffee shop at Piccadilly railway station
Christchurch, NZ: Discoveries, on Victoria St., Fudge cottage, coffee cart at University of Canterbury Students' Association.
UK: Sainsbury's, Wittards.
London, UK: Cafe Republic, South Molton St (Off Oxford St)
Madison, WI, US: Capps Food Center.
Toronto, ON, CA: The Country Kitchen, Eglington Station.
Hanover, NH, US: The Chocolate Shop Bar Harbor, MA, US: Ben and Bills Chocolate Emporium (these do mail order)
US Mail Order: Porto Rico Importing Co, 1-800-453-5908.
US: Some starbucks

You can also make your own. Melt some chocolate, place some coffee beans in it, and Bjorn Stronginthearm's your uncle!

For a stronger caffeine hit, try

    D&E Pharmaceuticals & Nutritionals
    206 Macopin Road
    Bloomingdale, NJ 07403
    1-800-221-1833
With a large selection of legal stimulants.

Next in line is a good LART. A 2x4 works fine, but a real professional needs something a little more effective. Unfortunately, this is a very personal thing, and no consensus has yet been reached on the group. Everything from a simple, 7.65mm Walther (for the Bond fans only, it's not a very good gun) to a 155mm with depleted Uranium rounds has been suggested, some even going for exotic things like Thermite, nukes or flamethrowers. For further info, look at the rec.guns home page

You can find a lot of cool stuff at Military Surplus stores. (Sadly, they don't sell the

interesting surplus stuff) Try US Cavalry, 1-800-777-7732.

When you can't use the LART (eg, you don't want to damage a computer), water pistols and Nerfs are excellent substitutes. Nerfs, for those of you outside the US, are a range of foam weapons. Don't leave ~ without it.

The leatherman is another useful tool. The Perl of swiss army knifes, this shouldn't be too hard to find.

Finally, there are some tools a sysadmin is forbidden from having. Adequate computing power is first on this list, but the most important is called a "life". [ FAQ maintainers note: could someone send me some info on this? I've heard of it, but never had one. I have been told it is a simulation environment of cellular automata.]
[ HTML converter's note: Me too ]

5.6)
Psychiatric Assistance

If you are reading this, you need it. Contact your health insurance, and look at the Mental health net.

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