Our little enemies, the lusers
[The stories are currently offline, as a result of the sysadmin
who had them on his web site recovering]
You can see the Stupid User mini-faq here.
A cluefull luser is an oxymoron.
Some tips for general luser interaction:
240v across the heart, a revolver through the head, or even a simple little
broadsword thrust into their abdomen will improve your interactions
wonderfully. See 4.5
There has been a great deal of debate on a.s.r about the best way of
dealing with lusers, and at this time no consensus has been reached.
- lusers, bless their little hearts, have simple minds. Even if you think
that a lobotomized flatworm could understand your instructions, your
luser probably won't.
- since lusers will neither read nor understand any docs you write for
them, just don't even bother.
- NEVER anthropomorphise lusers.
- lusers are much easier to deal with if they aren't breathing
What we can suggest, however, is to be sure it is painful, clean, and doesn't
harm the computer. That unfortunately leaves a lot of options out;
you can't just throw a grenade at them; it will hurt the machine.
Be careful. While cluelessness is not contagious, there are some nasty
things that can be picked up from lusers. Blood transmitted diseses,
you name it. Be sure to wear gloves. Otherwise, luser guts will usually
clean up with warm water and soap. I've found a little bleach sometimes
helps. Be careful with the keyboards; I've found that blood causes the
keys to get very very sticky; Again, you can try gently washing it with
soap and water.
To get rid of the body, people have suggested using several garbage
bags and a large quantity of duct tape. If you have to keep it for
a while, try and remove the guts; that will keep the smell down..
Alcohol and formalin works just fine as a preservative.
Unfortunately, in the eyes of the law, lusers are treated like humans.
I therefore recommend you be discreet in your luser education campaigns.
See the official ASR price list.